THE EGO IS A MONKEY

“The ego is a monkey catapulting through the jungle: Totally fascinated by the realm of the senses, it swings from one desire to the next, one conflict to the next, one self-centered idea to the next. If you threaten it, it actually fears for its life. Let this monkey go. Let the senses go. Let desires go. Let conflicts go. Let ideas go. Let the fiction of life and death go. Just remain in the center, watching. And then forget that you are there.” (Hua Hu Ching – Verse Ten)

Ego. Perhaps one of the most overused and little understood words thrown around in our culture today. To Freud, the ego was the abstract structure of the brain which figured out how to acquire the desires of the id with its myriad of unconscious wants and needs. In essence, the id was the lizard brain and the ego was the monkey mind. Add to that the super-ego – that internal criticizing voice which chastises on one hand and praises with the other, imposing societal rules, parental strictures and / or various arbitrary conditions of approval or rejection.

By Western clinical and academic definitions, the ego is the part of the mind which identifies with the idea of self. It is the source of the gradual entrainment of the individual to recognize a difference between self and other, self and the environment, etc.. Without it (again by these particular cultural standards) we would be unable to function in what we currently label society.

In the vernacular, the ego usually carries much more negative connotations. When someone is seen to “have an ego,” it is generally implied that they are selfish, self-centered, etc., etc., Ironically, having a “strong sense of self” is an idea much supported and praised within the psychological industry of the same said culture.

In the East, I think that they have a much fuller understanding of the function, purpose and meaning of the ego. Whereas we here in the West have only been forming ideas of such a concept in the past century, Easterners have been discussing it for a millenium. In their way of thinking, the ego is the part of the mind which preserves the illusion of self and other, the part which cannot recognize that we are all “of one thing,” integrally interconnected in a much larger matrix of existence.

None of the ideas of ego within these three contexts contradict one another, though the Western academic / clinical definition of the ego does somewhat clash with the idea implied in the vernacular. On one hand, ego is “good,” on the other hand it is "bad.” Of course, this sounds like the intervention of the super-ego, something which most Eastern thought lacks entirely, or if recognized at all, eschews its usefulness.

I once asked a Tibetan monk to explain the difference to me between guilt and remorse. He thought about it carefully for a few moments, then answered that he was probably unable to answer that question. In his culture, remorse is the feeling of contrition or regret which one feels if they realize that they have committed a harmful act. (To be harmful, there must have been intention to cause harm, the carrying out of the act itself, and then satisfaction at a job well done.) Unfortunately, he couldn’t fully answer my question because they have no word or concept of guilt in his culture – that is a Western invention.

Wow. A world without guilt – what a concept.

The most useful definition I found for the difference between guilt and remorse was that guilt is remorse with no discernable source. It is the feeling of contrition without an act to which to attach it. Therefore, there is nothing that the “guilty” party can “do” for recompense. In that way, the super-ego holds us in check, always criticizing, always blaming, always looking over the figurative shoulder to see what it can bitch about next.

Another wise phrase which I heard from the aforementioned cultural source is to never take praise or blame very seriously. In other words, there is no reason to jump when the super-ego barks.

The ego itself has purpose, though not any ultimate importance – it is merely an abstract structure in both thought and action. Its function is to differentiate self and other, which can be convenient sometimes. If you say “pass the salt,” you will probably not accept my assertion that if we are both the same thing then me keeping the salt is the same as you having it.

However, past these mundane considerations, the ego has no place. It, as we, are like cells in one larger organism. When the particular cell must operate as a particular cell, then sure it’s nice to have those cell walls to differentiate them. But even cells know that all things must be permeable in order to survive…

The ego is a cell wall that wants to be made out of bricks, thinking of the parts inside of those walls as the One True and Correct Reality, not recognizing itself as part of a larger organism. It may yell, shit, scream, bury nuclear waste, invade its neighbor, throw rocks, etc., never realizing that it is merely trying to damage the very thing of which it is a part. Eventually, if it keeps it up, it is itself that it will destroy.

Ego begs for conflict. And, with that pesky super-ego standing over its shoulder spouting praise and blame, acceptance and rejection, love and hate, who can blame it? It sees its world the way it sees itself – flawed, unacceptable and always screwing up. Certainly it is easier to externalize this conflict and direct it toward others, and thus the play of ego is reenacted again and again in the external world. Our religion is right and their religion is wrong, my race is superior and yours is inferior, we are the Chosen Ones and you will be Cast Into Darkness, my dad can beat up your dad, etc..

And why does it beg for conflict? Because it’s scared. It is, even according to Freud’s model, middle management, and we know how obsolete that is becoming. It is the part of the mind which recognizes itself as itself, and the possibility of its extinction becomes akin to death for it. That’s why it will jump around, throw things, and generally have a nasty disposition towards the world around it if it feels threatened.

And what are these threats, anyway? Perhaps, once upon a time, its function was to help keep the organism alive. When tigers really were out to get us unless we could climb that tree fast enough, it said – hey! – get your butt up that tree. But now, barring physical threat, why does it get so defensive? It is as though the structures and strictures of modern culture have “taken the place” of the original purpose for which it was designed. If there are no threats to physical survival, then the mind searches for threats to its more abstract survival. Just as, in lieu of competing for food or material necessities, monkeys will now compete for attention, love, power, security, etc., as if those things were finite resources and only available to the “winners.”

In these ways, ego becomes the defining cause of conflict, both interpersonally and globally. However, it takes at least two parties to conflict. If there is only one, then it is just a puppet show. Though the ego many jump up and down and screech, it is a choice to engage this monkey and let it have its way.

I think that Freud’s parts of the mind were designed, or at least have the potential to function, as healthy aspects of the personality. There is nothing wrong with the id saying – yo! – feed me or we’re going to keel over. There is also nothing wrong with the ego recognizing that the ego next to it requires the salt. And, if the rationale of the super-ego was based upon, oh, say, a sense of responsibility to the whole or the good of mankind, then it would be fine for it to gently say “you might not want to do that.”

I think that we were built to be healthy, happy monkeys, but that over the years we’ve mentally devolved into using these parts of the mind for ultimately foolhardy pursuits. Or, perhaps we’re moving toward that health and it is as of yet unexperienced in our collective history. Either way, the health of the whole is dependent upon the health of each individual which connects to create it. We live in a closed system, a body if you will, the survival of which is determined by our ability to see past our own little wall and recognize that we are not, ultimately, separate from one another.

Understanding karma really is just the comprehension that we are all part of the same thing, and that there really is no such thing as an “other” to feel threatened by or attack. Believing otherwise is, to me, as silly as cutting out my own eye because it was giving me a dirty look. But there’s ego, clinging to its desk, not wanting to be drug out of the office with its box of personal belongings. It claims that it is important, damn it. Why don’t you fire that other guy? Look! That monkey over there is glaring at you… go fire him. Leave me alone. I don’t want to leave – I DON’T WANT TO LEAVE!!!!!!

Oh well. Non-existence really isn’t all that bad. It stings a little at first and it's scary to see it coming, but then, it’s all over.

BLAME IT ON MARS

Have you ever noticed how everyone seems to go crazy at the same time? Like there’s something in the universal water supply? The world, your neighbor, your cat – they all go nuts at once. Why is that?

At the moment, I blame Mars. It is closer to Earth than it has been in 60,000 years, and if the astrologers are correct, this is bound to have some effect. It has been shown that the full moon effects the psyches of many – crime rates go up, hospitals have more admissions to the E.R., etc.. The way I look at it, the moon can effect something as large as the ocean, so why would I believe that it could have no effect upon me? And if the moon can make folks kind of crazy (thus the word “lunatic”), then what could Mars be up to?

According to astrologers, Mars has some of the following effects:

“In Mars we find great physical energy and the symbolism of fighting, argument, hostility and hot-headed action. ”

For nearly a week, surreally enough, I have been receiving angry hate-filled letters from The Easter Bunny. (If I were seven, I would be neurotic for the rest of my life.) This is strange enough in and of itself, made even stranger because, to my knowledge, I have never met this person. Nevertheless, there the letters were, staring at me accusingly every time I went to my in-box.

“Astrologically Mars is seen as THE EGO in action, the aggressive planet which causes divisions and splits between mankind.”

The other day, I checked my voice mail and found a message from a long-time friend of mine who has been married with a child for most of the last decade. The message informed me that she had asked for a divorce and was packing to move to Texas with a man she had met on-line. Though not completely unexpected, this was still somewhat of a surprise.

“Mars means action, energy, aggression and sometimes this can manifest as arguments, but without the action energies of this planet - nothing ever gets done. “

How ‘bout that blackout, eh? Talk about chaos… Where did it come from and what was the cause? As of yet, no one has or will take responsibility for it. America says it happened in Canada, Canada says it happened in America, and as is the case when no one knows who to blame, now the finger is being pointed at Cleveland.

“Mars represents soldiers and weapons. It is a planet of boldness, courage, competitiveness and connects with violence, anger and murder.”

There’s PLENTY of this going on in the world right now. Just today there was the suicide bombing of the United Nation’s headquarters in Iraq which killed at least twenty people, as well as another suicide bombing in Israel. This past week in Afghanistan was “one of the bloodiest weeks of violence in a year.” Then there was the Reuters cameraman, killed in Iraq by U.S. troops, though that part of it was never mentioned in the headlines. And in Andover, Ohio today (a town which hasn’t had a murder in the sheriff’s memory), a man came to work with four handguns and opened fire on his co-workers; he was supposed to leave for vacation tomorrow. There is ALWAYS insanity in the world, but lately it seems to be coming faster and more furious.

I blame Mars. Maybe the Red Planet is up there, pissed as hell, glaring down upon us easily manipulated humans while his two children, Phobos (panic) and Deimos (fear), run amuck in our midst. Maybe as he passes so closely to Earth, if we squint real hard through our telescopes, we can see the god of war standing there, grinning and flipping us off through the cosmos. Maybe he’s been whispering the words of dissent and conflict into our collective ears at night while we’re sleeping, encouraging and prodding us to do our worst, to go ahead and lose that temper, to pick up that gun and pull the trigger.

Or maybe not. But if I go out in my yard right now and gaze up at that big, red, glowing light in the sky, I swear I can see him laughing.